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This one’s all over the place.

I’m sitting here at my kitchen table the eve before May, the month of Mother’s Day, officially begins. Regardless of whether or not either party is currently present, is there any more complex relationship than that of mother and child? It can be loving and supportive, or swing the other way into anxiety and sadness.  Most friends I know teeter-totter between the two.

Before I was a mother, I rolled my eyes at the mom-brigade at the gym or community swimming pool.  Now that I’m in the club, I get it now, kind of.  Not really.

In general, I love May.  Who doesn’t?  The glimpses of summer, the lilacs blooming, the first few days of throwing open the windows and door on a sunny day….  But somehow, this time of year, when the “celebrate mom” ads begin appearing, I feel that same icky jolt when my mom died at age 42.  Now that I’m a mom myself, things are better.  But still.  Mother’s Day is still a reminder that I’m pressed against the candy store window — watching, longing, still doing what yoga teaches us keeps us suffering:  wishing things were different.

Occasionally I attempt to deal with the loss once and for all.  Therapy. Yoga.  Books on grief.  I’ve had Hope Edelman’s book Motherless Daughters on my bookshelf for past 22 years.  The best I’ve ever done was crack open the spine, read a couple sentences and fling it across the room.  So the book remains unread.  I mean, it has only been 25 years; I’m not quite ready yet.

I sometimes look on the bright side: With my mother no longer on this earth, I get to make the relationship whatever I want it to be.  My friends and loved ones and their mother-daughter conflict:  That would never have happened with my mom and me….

Clearly.

Anyway…. Whoa, this post took a serious turn.  I had originally meant May’s blog post to be a compilation of Distractify-worthy mom-themed tidbits; so I digress.  Regardless of whether your mother/daughter relationship is full of guilt, anger, shame…. Or joy, happiness and comfort (or a combination of all), here’s a few hilarious (and some serious) mom-themed links to keep you from doing the laundry.