Six months ago, I made a colossal business mistake. Unrelated to Twist Yoga School, this mistake is the kind where ramifications are significant: it has/continues to cost me exponentially more money than I’ve ever lost, cost a professional relationship, and my sense of safety and trust.
My health has suffered- I haven’t slept through the night *once* since June 1. I gained 10 (more) pounds in July alone. Last week I caught a glance at my cart at PCC…. full of eat-my-feelings-snacks. I’ve known this was affecting my mental health – my doctor and people close to me knew it too – but it wasn’t until that moment in the grocery line that I accepted the extent of which I’m struggling with depression and anxiety.
Also last week, I (re)started therapy. With a former yoga studio owner who offers all the empathy, understanding and perspective. There has been nothing I’ve said in therapy that she hadn’t also experienced. .
I feel it helping already. We need understanding and empathy so badly.
Then my sweet daughter and I took an end-of-summer road trip to Methow. We rolled the windows down, put our phones away (mostly), and instead charged *ourselves* in the sun: on the tennis court, on the hiking trails, at the pool, tubing on the river. We ate nourishing meals, played pool in the game room, enjoyed being a customer and receiving fresh towels from housekeeping, watched sunsets from the edge of a mountain. We each read two novels. Finished a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle. Stayed up late and slept through the night. Slept in even. Connected. She’s amazing. I’m lucky.
We’re home now. I didn’t want to post while we were away. Hadn’t planned on sharing this at all, really.
But now I scroll through the memories in my own head and feel such thanks for the past week …. & also a deep knowing that I’m taking the steps to come out the other side. I’m also posting because I’m proud: of myself & my family and the generosity of my friends and my team at Twist Yoga, for whom I could not take a breather if they didn’t exist.
On taking a breather: After 10 years of teaching my Sunday morning class, I’m taking a sabbatical. I need to be a student of yoga for a while; to breathe & move the trauma of this mistake, & the person associated with it, out of my body. I’ll be learning this fall; will you join me?